The Jeopardy Online Test
Tonight is the online Jeopardy tryouts. 8 pm if you live in the central time zone. I registered for it the other day. This will be my 5th time taking the test online. Will I pass? Well, I’m not holding my breath.
The first time that I took the Jeopardy audition test it was live. It was the Jeopardy Brain Bus thing. I stood in line for 4 hours at some car dealership. That’s where the bus was parked. I passed the 10 question fill-in-the-blank test and got to go to the big 50 question live test the next day. It was hard. The questions came up on a big blue screen, just like they do on tv. You had 8 seconds to write the answer down. When they called the names of the people who passed, I wasn’t one of them. Whatevs. I did, however, get a Jeopardy shirt for passing the first test. I don’t wear it because people ask you, “Hey, were you on Jeopardy?”, and then I have to say, “No, I’m a big fat loser who bombed out on the IMPORTANT test”. They’re like, “Oh”. So, I don’t wear the damn thing. I guess I should just use it as a dustcloth or something.
Every year that I take the test, I try to get friends or family to take it too. They’re like, “Oh no, I’m not that smart. I won’t pass”.
I tell them, “Take it anyway. Just for fun.”
“Oh no,” they say. “They’ll think I’m stupid”.
They? Who’s they? ‘They’ don’t even know who you are. You’re just some generic person on the internet. It’s not like they’re going to make you walk around the city with a ‘I’m a dumbhead who flunked the Jeopardy test’ sandwich board sign. They never made ME do it anyway.
Anyway, I’m hoping that the fact that today is Elvis’ birthday brings me luck. Right. Like that happens. Just in case, I’m going to have Burning Love playing in the background while I take the test.
The thing is, even if you DO pass the test, then you have to go take the test live in whatever designated city you picked when you signed up to take the test. I picked San Antonio. Only because I know people who live there and it’s only one state over.
I haven’t really prepared as much as I should have. I suppose that I could make up a cheat sheet of current governors and senators and blah, blah, blah… but I am just so not in the mood to do that. Besides, you only get 15 seconds to read the question and type out the answer. That means you better know how to type. I only learned touchtype 2 years ago. It sure makes it a lot easier. Having to look at a list of junk would just be too much trouble.
On my way to work today, I DID go through the list of Academy Award winning movies by year. I memorized them about 15 years ago. Every year I just have to add one more. I did pretty good. I only missed 3. I suppose that I could have the Periodic Table of Elements next to me when I take the test. I used to know them all, but if you don’t go over the list every so often, you kind of forget some. That’s the thing. You can only not know one of something, and that’s the one they’re going to ask you.
Anyway, the test is 5 1/2 hours away. I hope they ask a lot of literature, geography and presidential questions. That’s what I’m best at.